Chapter 13 Wanted to Feel Safe

My face burns red. I didn’t even think about that! Man, am I really that oblivious? Well, in my defense, it’s been a long time since a man has ever actually shown me genuine interest. I don’t think Chris counts! I guess I’m really not used to it and missed the cues.

“Not to mention, he handed you the money directly. He wasn’t leaving it on the table, not with that poor excuse of a woman near. She would’ve taken the money and run!” she snarls. Then she giggles, “But he made sure to put it directly into your hands.”

“He… he really wasn’t on a date with her like she claimed?” I whisper. There are so many doubts running through my mind right now and so many contradictions... I'm so confused! I didn’t want to get in between two people if they were in a relationship. I’d already done that, and I was the one married to him! It didn’t turn out too good for me.

“HELL NO!” She gives me an incredulous look. “Girl, he would never go after trash like her! You, on the other hand, look like you’ve been through hell… No offense…” she gives me a sheepish smile.

I dip a couple more fries into my shake and think for a moment about what she said while I munch on them. I'm not offended and I'm not even surprised she can tell. I'm just not sure how much I am comfortable telling her at the moment... Maybe after I've gotten to know her better?

“None taken. Maybe someday I’ll tell you everything,” I chuckle sadly.

“Good! I wanna know… but right now, you look like you need a little ‘me time’ so I’ll give it to ya,” she says with a wink. “But as far as Monica and Seth go, he can’t stand her. I swear he was about to strangle the bitch for the way she talked to you, but only stopped because of you! Well… he wouldn’t ACTUALLY strangle her… He’s not a physically violent type. But he might’ve called the cops!” she says with a decisive nod.

I can’t stop the smile. “He was worried about me.” Why does that make me feel so good? Like I’m actually important to someone?

“Yes ma’am! I’ve never seen the man so focused on a woman in my life! And I’ve grown up around here. He graduated high school with my big brother. That man is gonna fall on his face just to get you to pay attention to him,” she belly laughs until there are tears leaking out of her eyes. And I can tell she means it too.

I sigh in happiness. Does he really like me that much, even if I’ve only spoken a few words to him? (Most of them were about his lunch!) Could I even handle it right now, though? What if he hurts me like Chris? But then again, Oakley made it sound like he isn’t that kinda guy. I really hope that’s true.

Then I look at the empty plate of fries and my milkshake glass. I didn’t even know I’d had that much! Now my nerves seem to have settled, and I feel calm and collected once again. I was glad for the distraction I didn’t know I needed, and it was fun to have a little girl time, even if I was supposed to be working. I really think it was good for me to take the break.

I look up at Oakley. “Thanks Oakley. That really helped. I think I’m ready to get back to work now,” I smile.

“Sure?” she asks, looking into my eyes to make sure I’m not lying.

“Yep! Let’s go,” I smile.

For the next few hours, we rushed around with orders and cleaning the tables before we practically kicked the last patrons out around 8 pm. When we’d finally finished with the dishes and wiping down tables and mopping, I was beat. I sighed and looked around. It had been a semi-good day. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better.

We all pushed out the door of the diner. Marge and Bob followed behind to lock up. The girls were all giggling and chatting with me when I came to an abrupt stop. I’m sure all the blood drained from my face because I’m suddenly dizzy with anxiety and nerves. I wanted to break down and cry right then.

A loud gasp came from the whole group. We were all staring at my little Toyota. Someone had taken a key and scratched the word “slut” into the black paint. Why would someone do that? It was a car for crying out loud! What the hell did my car do to offend anyone?!

“I’m calling the cops!” Marge states, pulling out her phone, looking up at her husband, who nodded in approval.

“No… it’s okay… I don’t want to cause any problems…” I whisper. I feel so hollow right now. What did I do to anyone in this town to deserve this? There is no way I can afford to repaint my car! What am I going to do? Grab a bottle of spray paint and make it worse?

“Are you sure?” Bob asks, worried about me. I’ve noticed the guy was like a big papa bear when it came to the girls that worked at his diner.

I just nod my head. “Good night, everyone. I think I just need to sleep…” I whimper.

“Good night, honey,” Marge came and gave me a hug. “If you need me, you gimme a call. You’ve got my number!”

I love Marge. Why couldn’t she have been my mother? Her and Bob would’ve been the parents I have always wished for and never got. How is that fair?

“Okay,” I agree.

The others call out good night as I get in my car and make my way back to the motel. My mind is spinning a million miles an hour as I drive through the semi-darkness. Good thing a cop hasn’t seen me. I’d be pulled over for distracted driving! And I’ve got enough on my plate, I don’t need to deal with a ticket.

I enter the room and sigh. I don’t want to stay here tonight. I grab my bag and stuff it with the few items I took out this morning, then I grab my room key. I head back to my car and stuff my bag in before I jog back to the motel office and return my key. No one is here, but there is a little black box for returning the keys.

I get back into my car and drive to my new home. I just want to be somewhere that I feel safe, and I wasn’t sure how safe I would’ve been at the motel, cute as it was. I wanted to be somewhere that was mine.

I park in my spot and shut off my car with a sad sigh. Then I lock my car, not trusting anyone anymore. Not that I don’t lock my car, but seriously, it wasn’t even made in the last century! It’s all I have, and it’s paid off. As long as it still runs, I’m good.

I push my new room key into my lock and walk into my dark room. I have no energy nor the motivation to put things away. So I just close my door behind me, dump my bag on the floor, and crawl into my bed, where I promptly pass out.