Someone's Point of View
This is not the prologue. This is Someone's Point of View. This part of the story will happen in the future. The whole story will be written in English.
Welcome to The Moonlight Lilac's roller coaster ride. Tighten your seatbelts, stay seated, and enjoy!
!! Major warning: This is not a story for those who are weak or dramatic. It demands patience as well as comprehension. Most importantly, ensure that you understand difference between reality and fiction. If you are overly sensitive and pessimistic, you will not enjoy this narrative, so it better not start it. !!
Someone's Point of View
A guy is walking, holding an attache case. He's wearing a plain long sleeve polo, black pants, and a pair of shiny black shoes. The way he looks and how he styled his hair, I can say that he's in his early 30s
His polo was properly ironed. Either he still lives with his mom or has found a good wife.
I checked his ring finger.
He's wearing a ring; a good wife indeed. Besides, aside from attache case, he's also holding a small box which I suppose is a lunch box. A wife who irons your polo and cooks lunch for you? Not rare, but good for him to find one.
Anyway, he's not good-looking, but he looks rich. It's either true love or money. I'll put my bet on love. Money can't make a gold digger cook someone's office lunch.
I took my eyes off that man and looked around.
There I saw a kid standing beside his mother. His mother is checking on some random stuff I bet she's not buying; she doesn't look interested at all. Just curious because of the sale tag posted on the stall. The kid is biting his nails, staring off into the distance.
I followed the direction the young boy was looking at. He's looking at a toy store, specifically at the toys displayed outside, serving their purpose of catching customer's attention.
He's looking at the Barbie dolls and some other toys for girls.
He was even biting his lips. I looked back at his mom, who was still checking some things on sale.
There's rosary in his mom's wallet.
It looks like the mom noticed his boy staring at some girly stuff. She pulled him closer and gave him a warning look.
Life is going to be challenging for that little boy. Good luck to him.
I looked away and mentally rolled my eyes. I should stop checking people and listening to my inside voice, making dump yet accurate deductions. Enough with this internal monologue; it's making my head hurt more. My head is already hurting because--
This place is full of people. I hate crowded places.
Some of them are busy talking on their phones, some are engaged in chitchatting with their friends, some are couples holding each other's hands while walking, and most are individuals stopping by different stalls full of different types of flowers and chocolates, searching for the best one to buy. This a typical scenario in this part of the mall...
I always enjoy observing others. The way they move, speak, and convey their emotions. Hours evolved into days, months turned into years, and as I did this on a daily basis, discovering what lies beneath the masks of everyone I met became my specialty. Every person is their own form of a broken piece.
I deduce a person by the way the move. It brings me this feeling of euphoria every time I unmasked someone, every time a person shows me their broken parts. but not all broken pieces enjoyable; some I consider disposable...
We are the artists, and our lives are our masterpieces. However, some artists lose control of their hands, destroying their work and often breaking someone else's. I realize it is not my place to decide what to do with those horrible artists, but I can't help myself. I can't help it, especially if it's becoming disruptive. I take issues into my own hands, breaking their artwork. I wreck it in bits to protect hard work of good artists.
That is how I perceive life. No matter how much I pretend to despise how I think and want to be normal, deep down I know I enjoy it. I embrace being different, and I like that I'm not just different in the way I think or imagine things, because, unlike other people who express their darkest fantasies a reality, and I enjpy the idea that some individuals are hunting me. Looking for me for what I've done. That made my life more...exciting.
But that was before her...
"There, I saw her! She's our loyal customer" I immediately hid behind the shadows in the alley when I heard a familiar voice.
I know she's here. I know they will be here, so I'm standing where I am right now. I was waiting for them. I've been waiting for them for 30 minutes now. I heard their conversation the other night and their plans to visit this place on this day to buy flowers for her mother's birthday.
I hid half of my face behind the post in front of me. I'm trying to hide my whole being, but I want to watch them, so I did. The alley is dark, and there's a post helping me to hide behind the shadows. I have to make sure that they won't see me here.
I usually follow people when I'm planning to hurt them, but this time, it's different. I'm following these two because I want to protect them. I know bad guys are after them, and those bad guys could appear at any time. So I'm here, making sure no one touches them.
Especially her. I'd do anything to protect her.
I clenched my fist when I felt a tingling pain in my chest as I watched them walk together. They look so happy and proudly holding each other's hands. People are looking at them. Some are happy seeing them proudly holding hands, while others are wearing confused expressions on their faces.
They look so content and in love. She looks so happy. A faint smile formed as I realized how much she loved her. She found happiness in her. She chose her.
Once before, I tried making her happy. I did my best and sacrificed many things so she could find happiness in me. But that didn't happen. No matter how much I tried, I was too broken, and instead of making her happy, I ended up hurting her simply because I couldn't control myself. I couldn't control my demons.
My demons caused her nothing but misery. My demons transformed her into her worst self. But before I could totally break her, this person she is currently holding hands with entered her life and spared her from drowning in my hell.
She will never find her happiness in me. I'm too broken to be someone's light She, on the other hand, is a burst of walking sunshine. So why would she choose me over her? All I give her is pain and misery; she gives her smiles and butterflies.
They're now standing in front of a flower stall. Her girlfriend is currently checking the different flowers in front of them. She's doing the same thing.
But then she stopped as if she sensed something or, better say, someone. She looked around as if her eyes were searching the area.
I knew it. I should've hidden better. She can always sense it when I stare at her for some unexplainable reason.
And then she saw me. Our eyes met.
She froze for a second. She then quickly composed herself and gave me an expression beyond comprehension. But with those eyes, I know she thinks I'm here right now, not as the person she's familiar with, but as the person she fears most.
I may have read her eyes, but not her mind and whatever she's thinking looking at me. I can easily read people, but not her. That made her so special; she's so special...
When she discovered my darkest secret, she began to suspect that I have two personalities. But I don't have a divided personality. As I have stated, I have vivid memories of all of my crimes.
Though I can't read her expression, I hate how she stares at me. It's like piercing through my dark heart, targeting its remaining white parts that are deeply hidden. I don't usually feel remorse or emotions for other people, but she...the exceptional she...s-she—
I HATE IT!
I walked away as I started to feel my eyes heavy with impending tears. This bullshit of emotion again!
Every time she gives me that look, I lose control of my tears. Hundreds of thoughts raced through my mind, causing me to lose control. The ideas of sprinting towards her, hugging her tightly, apologizing for everything I've done, and imploring her to save me from this darkness...
But I can't do that. I can no longer do that. Because the longer I pull her with me into this darkness, the more she loses her shine. She can no longer live her life for me. I can no longer bear the pain of asking her to do that selfish thing of staying by my side whatever I do. I had to let her go.
And that turned out to be one of the best decisions I've made because I started seeing her genuine bright smile again after letting her go.
The only thing that haunts me is the prospect of the day when everyone will discover who I am. I know I'll have to pay for all I've done, and there's a good chance she'll be drawn into it no matter how hard I try to keep her away; she might lose that smile again because of me. Worse, she could lose significantly more than that.
I'd rather bear the pain alone than have her by my side as I slowly watch her break into a thousand unrecognizable pieces.
I stopped walking as I reached a parking lot. I looked at my distorted reflection on a broken side mirror of a car parked near where I was standing. My eyes are swollen, and my face is wet with tears.
How can a deeply broken person love someone? How can you continue to harm others despite the implications for the person you love?
A psychopath, maybe?
"Idiot," I muttered, staring at my shattered image.
The explanation is simple: I can't help it; this is who I am. Perhaps not even love can save me? It will not prevent me from killing individuals whom I believe deserve to die.
*I don't think anything can save me from being...The Moonlight Lilac
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