The Truth Inside

Alex closed the door behind him and leaned against it. His heart felt heavy in his chest.

"So?" Ethan bounced off the couch. "Tell us everything! Was she nice? Pretty? Boring?"

Olivia nudged Ethan. "Give him a minute to breathe."

Alex forced a smile. "She was nice. Really nice, actually."

"That's it? Just nice?" Ethan pressed.

"We had coffee. We talked. We walked in the park." Alex moved to the kitchen, wanting to avoid Ethan's questions. "It wasn't a big deal."

But it was a big deal. Not because of Sophia, but because of what he'd told her. His secret was out there now, floating in the world. He'd admitted he loved Ethan.

"Earth to Alex!" Ethan waved his hand in front of Alex's face. "You're spacing out, man."

"Sorry." Alex filled a glass with water and gulped it down. "I'm tired."

"Oh!" Ethan's eyes lit up. "I forgot to tell you. Olivia and I have news."

Alex's stomach twisted. "What news?"

Olivia held up her left hand. A small diamond ring sparkled on her finger.

"We're engaged!" Ethan announced, pulling Olivia close. "I asked her last night, and she said yes!"

The room spun. Alex gripped the counter to stay upright.

"Wow," he managed to say. "That's... congratulations."

"I know it's fast," Olivia said. "We've only been dating six months, but when you know, you know."

Ethan beamed. "You're the first person we've told, Alex. I want you to be my best man."

Alex nodded, his throat too tight to speak.

"Are you okay?" Ethan's smile faded. "You look sick."

"I'm fine. Just surprised." Alex set down his glass. "I need to lie down for a bit. Headache."

He fled to his bedroom before either of them could stop him. Once inside, he locked the door and slid to the floor, his back against the wall.

Engaged. Ethan was engaged.

Alex covered his mouth with his hand to hide a sob. Tears burned his eyes. He'd always known this day would come, but he wasn't ready. He would never be ready.

After a few minutes, there was a soft knock on his door.

"Alex?" Ethan called. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Alex wiped his eyes quickly. "Yeah. Just tired. I'll come out later."

"Okay. We're ordering pizza if you want some."

"Thanks."

Alex listened to Ethan's footsteps fade away. Then he crawled to his bed and pulled out a shoebox from underneath it. Inside were pictures, ticket stubs, and small mementos from his years with Ethan.

He spread the photos on his bed. Him and Ethan at high school graduation. Camping trips. College parties. Ethan's arm always around his shoulders, both of them happy.

In one picture, they were at the beach. Ethan was laughing at something, his head thrown back, the sun making his skin glow. Alex remembered that day. It was when he first realized he loved Ethan as more than a friend.

He'd kept it hidden for five years. Five years of watching Ethan date other people. Five years of being the loyal best friend.

And now Ethan was getting married.

Alex's phone buzzed with a text. It was from Sophia: "I had a nice time today. Friends?"

He typed back: "Friends. Thank you for listening."

Another text came almost immediately: "Duck Theory forever. Call if you need to talk."

Alex almost smiled through his tears. At least he had a friend who knew the truth now.

From the living room, he could hear Ethan and Olivia laughing. The sound cut through him like a knife.

He picked up another picture. This one was from New Year's Eve last year. Ethan had his arm around Alex, their faces close together as they counted down to midnight. Alex remembered wishing he could kiss Ethan when the clock hit twelve.

Instead, he'd watched Ethan kiss some girl whose name he couldn't even remember now.

"I need to move on," Alex whispered to himself. "I can't do this anymore."

He gathered the pictures and put them back in the box. As he did, a folded piece of paper fell out. It was a letter he'd written to Ethan years ago, confessing his thoughts. He'd never had the courage to give it to him.

Alex unwrapped it and read his own words from the past:

Dear Ethan,

I don't know how to say this, so I'm putting it down. I love you. Not just as a friend. I'm in love with you. I have been for years.

I know you don't feel the same way. That's okay. I just needed to tell you because keeping it inside is killing me.

Your best friend (always), Alex

The paper shook in his hands. He'd been a fool. Maybe if he'd given Ethan this letter years ago, things would be different now.

Or maybe not. Maybe Ethan would have rejected him, and their friendship would have finished.

Either way, it was too late.

Alex carefully tore the letter into tiny pieces and dropped them in his trash can. It was time to let go.

He took a deep breath and went back to the living room. Ethan and Olivia were cuddled on the couch, looking at something on Olivia's phone.

"Wedding venues," Olivia explained when she saw Alex. "We're thinking spring."

"That's nice," Alex said, sitting in the armchair across from them. "I'm happy for you both."

Ethan studied his face. "Are you sure you're okay? You seem off."

"I'm fine. Just processing everything." Alex tried to sound normal. "So, when's the pizza getting here?"

As Ethan talked about dinner plans, Alex made a choice. He would call Sophia tomorrow. They would go to dinner, maybe a show. He would try to be happy for her sake. For his own sake.

And he would start looking for his own place. Living with Ethan while he planned his wedding would be awful.

"I'm thinking of moving out," Alex said suddenly, interrupting Ethan's story about pizza toppings.

The room went quiet.

"What?" Ethan's face fell. "Why?"

"It's time. You two are engaged now. You'll want your own space."

"But we weren't—" Ethan started.

"I found a place near my work," Alex lied. "It makes sense."

Olivia glanced between them, feeling the tension. "I should go make that call," she said, getting up. "About the... thing."

She vanished into the kitchen, leaving Alex and Ethan alone.

"Is this because of us getting engaged?" Ethan asked, his voice hurt. "Because nothing has to change."

Everything has already changed, Alex thought.

"It's not that," Alex said. "I just think it's time."

"But we've been roommates for years. It won't be the same without you."

"Things change, Ethan. People move on."

"Not us," Ethan said firmly. "We're different."

Alex felt a flash of anger. "Are we? You're getting married. You'll have a wife. Maybe kids someday. Where do I fit in that picture?"

"You'll always be my best friend," Ethan insisted, going to sit next to Alex. "That won't change."

Alex looked into Ethan's eyes, so full of worry and confusion. If only Ethan knew how much those words hurt.

"I met someone today," Alex said, the lie burning his throat. "Sophia. I like her. Maybe it could work."

Ethan's face changed. "Oh. That's... that's great, Alex."

"Yeah," Alex agreed, the pain in his chest rising. "Maybe we both need to start new chapters."

The doorbell rang. The pizza had arrived.

"I'll get it," Ethan said, standing up. But he paused, looking down at Alex. "Are you sure about this? Moving out?"

Alex nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

"We should talk more later," Ethan said. "When it's just us."

As Ethan went to the door, Alex closed his eyes. The truth was inside him, burning like a fire. A truth he could never tell.

His phone buzzed with another text from Sophia: "Dinner tomorrow?"

Alex replied: "Yes. I have a lot to tell you."

From the doorway, he heard Ethan's laugh as he joked with the delivery guy. It was a sound he'd grown to love over the years. A sound he would have to learn to live without.

The truth was, some loves weren't meant to be kept. Some truths were better left unspoken.

But as he watched Ethan return with the pizza, their eyes meeting across the room, Alex wondered if his secret was as hidden as he thought.