3. No Longer a Triangle

I woke up breathless, a chill ran up my spine. Those dam grey eyes were on me. That stone mask was pursuing me, chasing me. I was back at Blackwood, and whomever it was behind the mask was chasing me through the halls. I was back to being fourteen, but the stone man was no child as I was. Maybe he never was. Maybe he was as old as Malachar, I had no idea. He was not there at the beginning of the war.

But whomever he was, he was here now, and he was in my dreams, chasing me through the large stone halls of my childhood school. The place I learned to be the powerful and brilliant, where I learned how to be a vampire. I shook my body fighting off the chill that ran up my spine.

What time was it? There were no windows in this room and no way to know the time of day. I threw my legs over the side of the bed. I had collapsed on top of it when I went to sleep. I had not even taken my boots off, nor my clothes. I got up and went to find a bag of blood. I felt like my throat was dry from the nightmare. I could use a pick me up, and blood was always that. I grabbed my small toiletries bag I had. I wanted to wash my face, before I did anything, the cold water would help with the apprehension my dream left me with.

I walked in the wide hallways, this used to be a hospital, and so all the private rooms were dedicated to people coupled up or those who took in roommates. I sighed heading down to the only female common bathroom. It was for the doctors, nurses, and residences when this place was in use. I was alone, and having passed some windows, I saw it was still dark out. How long had I even slept. Not long was my assumption as there was practically no one walking the halls and I heard no conversations behind the closed doors of the rooms.

Maybe I should go to one of the other safe houses. This place made me feel lonely, and I was so tired of it. Aiden had his wife, Ava. They had been married right when they came of age. It was happy for them, and I liked Ava. She reminded me a lot of Wes prior to the war. She was his sister, so it seemed fitting that Aiden liked her. She was beautiful, funny, and adored him. I thought them to be a good match. I envied them if I was honest with myself, but I pushed that out, I didn’t need to focus on the emptiness inside me.

Then there was Wes. I had a childhood crush on him growing up at Blackwood. He was athletic and nice to me. It had always been Aiden, Wes, and I, the trio. I had once read somewhere that triangles where the strongest shapes found in nature. I used to think of the three of us like that, but it was gone now. We no longer formed that shape, and we were not the strongest, not anymore and we hadn’t been for a while. Aiden had Ava and Wes had Rose.

He flocked to her when I told him “I think we should just stay friends.” It was after a particularly brutal battle, we had been in. Everyone was calming down and he had come up and tried to kiss me, a kind of comfort he thought. He had done that the night before and I had felt nothing behind it. His hands were to erratic, his mouth felt strange on mine and just none of it sat right with me.

I had gone to find him a few hours later to tell him, we could try after the war. I mean we had been friends since we were 13. I had a crush on him for years, so maybe if other things were not consuming my mind, it would be better. But that idea went out the door when I found him all over Rose in her shared room with her friend. They were quite literally giving it to one another. After that all ideas of the two of us in the future was gone. I was now alone in a single room and had no one.

Aiden and Wes as well as Ava said we were all still friends. Maybe we were, but I didn’t feel so much like anyone’s friend anymore.  I was just a weapon to the Vanguard, and I felt like it. I washed my face in the sink. Then got to work on my wild hair. The brown curls where somewhat tamed for the moment. I should braid it. If I was going back out in a bit, a braid holding my hair tight would be less likely to stand out.

I looked at my skin next. I had so many freckles along my cheeks and bridge of my nose. A few were placed on my chin and forehead, but it was few and far between. The majority of them seemed to stay on my checks and nose. As if I put them on with blush. I snorted. I hadn’t used makeup since the war started. My brown eyes looked alert though and that was something. As much as I wanted a blood bag for a pick me up, my eyes said I had energy. I would still get a bag before I left, a little selfish but I was about to risk my life yet again for Vanguard.

I left the communicable bathroom and returned my things to my room. I was just walking back to the cafeteria when Wes came out of his room. He was shirtless and I could see his freckled body on display. He had a large frame and his muscles where well defined. He had one of those gifts that some had, where his strength was more significant than the average Vampire. It made sense that his body depicted that. My eyes fell on his blue ones. I took note of the number of freckles he had; they surpassed even my own.

“Beatrix where are you going? It is the middle of the night.” I raised one of my brows. “You heard Vanir, I need to try again, so I am.” “You can’t go back alone, what if Stone Face shows up, again?” “Wes, what would he be doing there again; besides I can jump back if I need to, not a big deal.” “Just give me a minute I will come with you.” I snorted. “Wes, I don’t need anyone to protect me, especially not you.” He made a face of confusion. “Sorry, I am just tired. Look I just want to get in and out and then I can come back and get some sleep. No need to worry yourself, okay?” I said and it looked as if he was debating with himself if he should try to tag along.

“Bee, I know you are capable, hell you have always been the most capable, but I don’t want you feeling like you have to do everything on your own. Aiden and I were talking, and we feel like you are purposefully separating yourself from our friendship, like you are trying to sabotage it.” Was he serious? He was using that old nickname that Aiden and he used to use.  Trying to make it sound like they were not gossiping like a gaggle of girls. “Wes, I am just doing what I am told, now why don’t you go back to Rose’s bed, I am sure she is missing you in it.” I pushed past him not wanting to discuss this any further.

I had never intentionally pushed them away. How could they even think that? I had gone to their missions, even when I wasn’t supposed to, because I was a better weapon than either of them. Sure, I never stuck around so they could see I was the reason they were alive; I had been told to go other places. I had let others die to keep those two alive. Then I never threw it in Wes's face how much he had hurt me. And with Adien I had been right there cheering him on when he wed Ava.

What a load of shit, they may not see it because I had been in the thick of it, but I have always been there for them. For fuck’s sake they would have no abilities if I had not helped them in their studies when we were at Blackwood. I walked past a woman who was just standing there at the entrance of the kitchen. I could smell her blood in her body, type B. How I would love to have some warm right now. Just a quick bite to her neck or wrists.

But that was not allowed here. Once the war picked up, unless it was an emergency, we were no longer able to drink from humans, only the cold blood bags. It was to make the humans less scared. It was a ridiculous rule. All of us knew how to drink from the vein and not kill we even could make it not painful for them, but I understood. I sighed and went to the huge freezer and hunted for A negative. It was my favorite, and I was surprised Varin had given me some at all.

It was considered a rare blood type. Where was it? Varin probably hid it from me as punishment for failing to get his precious blood relic for him. I grabbed one of the O something blood bags and began to walk out of the freezer. I looked at the woman I had passed before and she was staring at me. I ignored her.