1- Before

Hope

The bright lights of the street outside the cab's windows streaked past, a blurry mixture of bright white and red  lights and rain, that made it hard to make out anything specific in the street beyond.

It would have made me  feel even worse if it wasn’t for the cool glass pressed up against my cheek. The coldness of it helped eased the tears that had been running down my face since  I had left Justin’s apartment.

Three years down the drain.

Three years and nine months to be exact and for what?

For absolutely nothing.

I had always thought Justin was the love of my life. The man I would spend the rest of my life with. But that was back when I had been young and stupid. Back when I thought he had some ambition.

Back when…

It didn’t matter what I had thought, and I would drive myself crazy with the what ifs if I let them take over. I loved him.

But I couldn’t be with him.

I wanted to make something of my life, I wanted to explore the world and draw what I saw and he wanted to…

Well I didn’t know what he wanted because I wasn’t sure he did but it wasn’t the same thing as me. He was too busy playing his computer games and moaning about the end of the world.

Like that was about to happen any day now.

If I had to listen to one more conspiracy theory or plan for the apocalypse, I was going to lose the will to live.

The world was so full of beauty, it was just a shame that he couldn’t see it.

So it didn’t matter if leaving him and ending our relationship hurt something in my chest , I knew it was for the best.

We were just two very different people.

“Are you ok back there?”

The deep masculine voice of the driver took me by surprise and I squeaked before I could help myself. Lifting my eyes to meet his, in the rear view mirror I straightened before I nodded.

Strange that he was talking to me. Big city cabbies didn’t usually do that. Not for anyone who wasn’t a tourist anyway and one look at me and you knew I had been born here.

Plus I had mascara running down my cheeks and kept heaving with huge dry sobs, I wasn’t exactly a welcoming sight and yet here he was talking to me.

And not just talking to me, staring at me with a weird look narrowing his eyes.

Letting out a shaky breath I forced myself to smile. “Yeah, I’m fine.” A small shrug. “Never better in fact. Feels good to get rid of the dead weight , you know?” I grinned but he didn’t say a word and just continued to stare. “I am off on a trip tomorrow. With my friends and family.” I added the lie easily because there was no way I was going to let some cab driver kidnap and do unspeakable things to me because he thought I was some weak ass female.

No siree, nor kidnapping attempts on me. I had a life to live. And I would kick anyone’s ass who tried to stop me. Twelve years of karate would finally come in handy. Not that I really thought he was going to kidnap me, I wasn’t as paranoid as Justin but it was funny thinking about how I could probably kick his podgy ass if he tried.

“That’s good.” For a second his eyes bored into mine. “That you like adventures.” He went back to concentrating on the road and I fell silent as my street came into view.

Of course I was being paranoid. He was just making conversation. Probably in an attempt to make the time go faster on his night shift. Plus I was crying and what kind of man would he be if he didn’t ask a crying woman if she was alright.

A crappy one that’s what.

Sometimes men just couldn’t win.

“It’s number six.” Digging into my bag, I pulled out my purse and waited for him to pull over. More than anything now I just wanted to lay down and cry. That way I could wake up in the morning and be fine with letting the love of my life go.

The car pulled over smoothly, leaning forward I dropped the money into his waiting hand and swung open the door. The pelting rain hitting me in the face.

“Thank you.” I had both feet on the pavement and was about to stand up and close the door when he spoke from behind me.

“Miss, you dropped this.”

Half turning I stared at the glint of gold dangling from his hand.

“I’m sorry it’s not mine.” I had never seen it before, it was a chunky thing. A man’s watch and not something I would wear at all.

A line appeared between his eyebrows as he held it out with one finger. “Are you sure?” The line deepened. “I saw it fall from your bag when you got out.”

“I-“

“It looks expensive. Maybe it was the boyfriends?”

“Maybe but-“

“I can take it back to the office and put it in the lost and found but it looks expensive and I wouldn’t want it to be taken.”

“Yeah maybe it fell into my bag, I’ll take it back to him in the morning.” Slowly I took the metal from him and closed my hand around it. I wasn’t going to do any such thing but I would leave a message that he could pick it up from my parents house.

“Thanks again.” Standing, I shut the car door and stood there in the rain. Lifting my face to it , so it could wash the tears from my face. It flattened my dark red hair to my scalp but I didn’t care. The wind and the rain felt good. Like they could wash away all of my troubles if I just stood out here long enough. Not that I would do that. I needed to get inside before I caught a cold or one of my parents spotted me and started to ask questions I wasn’t ready to answer.

Plus it was chilly. Cold in fact.

Everything was cold. Everything but the chunky watch in my hand. The metal seemed to be heated, and getting hotter by the second. Confused, I stared down at it as the cab peeled away with a squeal of tires against wet tarmac. For a second I watched the rapidly retreating lights and then I sighed.

And that’s when I felt it. The lurch of my stomach , like the earth had tilted under my feet. Nausea swept up my throat.

The street lights so bright before, dimmed and then flickered on and off and the entire time the gold grew hotter and hotter.

“Ow.” Shaking my hand I let it drop, watching as it fell towards the pavement in slow motion and the face cracked.

Then I was falling, falling and falling and falling.

And the dim lights above my head burst into life, so bright that they blinded me and everything went black.