Chapter 23
Chapter 23 (Alex’s POV)
The city lights stretched out in front of me, blinking like tired stars.
I stood at the floor-to-ceiling window of my penthouse, a glass of whiskey untouched in my hand.
The night was quiet, too quiet, and the silence inside my head was louder than any noise could ever be.
Something wasn’t right.
I could feel it.
A weight pressing on my chest.
A whisper in the back of my mind.
Something pulling at me.
Calling me.
But I didn’t know who.
Or why.
And it was driving me insane.
---
I set the glass down on the marble counter and rubbed my hands over my face.
Work was done for the day.
The deals were signed.
The meetings were over.
But I felt no satisfaction.
No pride.
Just... hollow.
Like I was playing a role I no longer fit into.
Like I was walking through someone else’s life.
Going through the motions.
Pretending.
Always pretending.
---
Rachel had called earlier.
Left a voicemail asking if I was okay, if we could do dinner soon.
I hadn’t replied.
I didn’t have the energy to fake a smile.
Not tonight.
Maybe not ever again.
---
I wandered through the empty penthouse, the soles of my shoes tapping softly against the polished floors.
Everything here screamed success.
The sleek furniture.
The priceless art.
The cold, perfect beauty of it all.
And yet none of it made me feel anything.
No comfort.
No warmth.
No home.
Just walls.
Walls around a heart that was starting to crack.
---
I found myself standing in the kitchen without even realizing it.
Leaning against the counter, staring at nothing.
And then the flashes started again.
Stronger this time.
Sharper.
---
A girl standing by a stove, stirring something in a pot.
She turned and smiled at me, her eyes dancing with light.
She wore an oversized sweatshirt — my sweatshirt — and her hair was a mess.
But she was beautiful.
So beautiful it hurt to look at her.
I stepped forward, wrapping my arms around her from behind.
She laughed, a soft sound that wrapped around my heart like a warm blanket.
"You’re late," she teased, tilting her head back to look at me.
"I brought dessert," I said, holding up a bag.
She laughed again and kissed my chin.
Home.
That was what this was.
Home wasn’t a place.
It was her.
---
I staggered back against the counter, gasping.
The flash ended as quickly as it had come, leaving me trembling.
I pressed a hand to my chest, trying to steady my breathing.
What was happening to me?
Who was she?
Why did it feel like losing her was killing me slowly?
---
I grabbed my phone and opened my contacts list.
Hundreds of names.
Powerful people.
Important people.
But not a single one who could explain this ache inside me.
Not a single one who could tell me who she was.
Not a single one who mattered.
---
I paced the kitchen like a caged animal.
Memories flickering at the edges of my mind like dying stars.
I saw flashes of her laugh.
The way her nose scrunched up when she was mad.
The way her eyes softened when she looked at me.
The feel of her hand slipping into mine.
The sound of her voice whispering promises in the dark.
And it all felt so real.
Too real to be a dream.
Too real to be a fantasy.
---
I slammed my fist against the counter, the sound echoing through the empty penthouse.
Anger surged up inside me.
Hot.
Wild.
For once, not at the world.
Not at my competitors.
Not at the pressure of running an empire.
But at myself.
At the emptiness inside me.
At the memories just out of reach.
At the universe for stealing something from me — something precious — without even giving me a chance to fight for it.
---
I stumbled into the living room and dropped onto the couch.
For a long time, I just sat there.
Staring.
Breathing.
Feeling like I was coming apart at the seams.
I closed my eyes and let the memories come.
Let them wash over me.
---
I remembered lying in bed with her, her head resting on my chest.
Her fingers tracing lazy patterns over my skin.
We talked about stupid things.
Future baby names.
Places we wanted to visit.
How many dogs we would adopt.
We laughed so much that night.
Laughed until tears rolled down our cheeks.
Laughed until we fell asleep tangled together under the blankets.
It wasn’t glamorous.
It wasn’t polished.
It wasn’t perfect.
But it was real.
And it was everything.
---
When I opened my eyes, the city lights had blurred into a sea of colors.
I wiped at my face and realized I was crying.
Tears I hadn’t even noticed falling.
I hadn’t cried in years.
Not when my company almost collapsed.
Not when my father died.
Not when everything I worked for felt meaningless.
But for her?
For the memory of a life I couldn’t even fully grasp?
The tears came easily.
---
I needed answers.
I couldn’t keep living like this.
Pretending everything was fine when inside I was shattering.
I needed to know who she was.
Why I felt like my soul had been torn in half.
Why the world around me felt so wrong.
And I knew — deep in my gut — that no business deal, no luxury, no success would fill the hole she left behind.
Only the truth could.
---
I stood up slowly, running a hand through my hair.
Maybe I was going crazy.
Maybe these were just dreams from stress, from too much work, from too many sleepless nights.
But it didn’t feel like a dream.
It felt like waking up after a long, forced sleep.
And I wasn’t going to roll over and close my eyes again.
Not this time.
---
I poured the untouched whiskey down the sink and washed the glass carefully, setting it back in the cabinet.
No more numbing myself.
No more pretending.
I was done being the perfect CEO with the perfect life.
I was done letting fear control me.
If there were answers out there...
I was going to find them.
Even if I had to dig through every lie.
Even if I had to tear down every wall.
Even if it meant facing things I wasn’t ready to see.
---
I walked back to the window and stared out at the night.
Somewhere out there, she was waiting.
Maybe lost.
Maybe searching too.
Or maybe... just existing.
Waiting for me to remember.
Waiting for me to find her.
I pressed my palm against the glass, feeling the coolness seep into my skin.
"I’ll find you," I whispered.
It wasn’t a wish.
It was a promise.
A vow.
A truth carved into the very bones of who I was.
I would find her.
No matter what it took.