Chapter 39
Chapter 39 (Alex’s POV)
I woke up feeling like I hadn't slept at all.
The sheets tangled around my legs.
The air heavy with something I couldn’t name.
I sat up slowly, pressing my palms into my eyes.
Trying to chase away the strange dream that clung to me like smoke.
---
A girl.
Soft skin.
Broken whispers in the dark.
Her touch burning through me.
Her voice pleading, breaking.
Nell.
---
I didn’t know her.
Not really.
But my heart ached like I had lost her all over again.
Like some part of me had been ripped out during the night and wasn’t coming back.
---
I swung my legs out of bed and sat there for a long moment, breathing heavily.
The clock on the nightstand blinked 7:13 AM in harsh red numbers.
Way too early for a Saturday.
Not that it mattered.
I wasn’t going back to sleep.
Not after that.
---
I dragged myself through my morning routine.
Shower.
Shave.
Suit.
Coffee.
It all felt mechanical.
Pointless.
The coffee tasted like ash in my mouth.
---
Rachel appeared in the kitchen, barefoot and sleepy, wearing one of my shirts.
She smiled at me.
I didn't smile back.
I barely looked at her.
Something about her presence grated on my skin today.
Too loud.
Too real.
Too wrong.
---
"Morning," she said, voice light.
I grunted something that might have passed for a reply.
She moved around the kitchen, humming under her breath, completely oblivious to the storm brewing inside me.
---
I set my coffee down harder than necessary, the cup clinking sharply against the marble counter.
Rachel glanced at me, frowning.
"You okay?"
"Fine," I said shortly.
"You don't seem fine."
"I'm just tired," I snapped.
Her face tightened.
I didn’t care.
Not today.
---
I grabbed my keys and left without another word.
The door slammed harder than I intended.
But maybe that was the point.
---
The morning air was cold, sharp against my skin.
I climbed into my car and just sat there for a moment, staring at the steering wheel.
My hands gripped it tightly, knuckles whitening.
Like if I held on hard enough, I could anchor myself to something.
Anything.
---
But the hollowness inside me only grew.
---
I didn’t know where I was going.
I just drove.
Past the expensive shops.
Past the glass buildings and perfect sidewalks.
Past everything that was supposed to make me feel successful.
Whole.
Alive.
---
It didn’t work.
None of it worked.
---
Somehow, my car ended up parked near an old bookstore downtown.
A place I hadn’t been to in years.
I sat there, engine running, staring at the faded brick and dusty windows.
A memory tugged at me.
Soft.
Faint.
Almost invisible.
---
A girl laughing.
Sitting cross-legged on the floor between bookshelves.
A cup of coffee in one hand.
Her other hand reaching out to pull me down beside her.
---
I squeezed my eyes shut.
Pain sliced through me.
Sharp and clean.
God, what the hell was happening to me?
---
I shoved the gear into drive and peeled away from the curb.
I couldn't stay here.
Couldn’t chase ghosts.
Not when I didn't even know if they were real.
---
I ended up back at my office.
High-rise building.
Private elevator.
Top floor.
Cold walls, colder furniture.
I was supposed to have a meeting later.
Some investment thing.
I didn’t care.
I canceled it with a single text.
Let them deal with it.
---
I slumped into the chair behind my desk, staring out the floor-to-ceiling windows at the city below.
It looked small from up here.
Unimportant.
Like a game board waiting for someone to knock the pieces over.
---
I loosened my tie and leaned back.
Closed my eyes.
---
Nell.
The name throbbed inside me.
Soft and broken.
Why did it hurt so much?
Why did it feel like my whole body remembered her even if my mind didn’t?
---
I opened my eyes and yanked open the top drawer of my desk.
Rummaged through papers and pens and useless junk until my fingers brushed something unfamiliar.
A small slip of paper.
Yellowed with age.
---
An address.
Handwritten.
---
My heart lurched violently.
I stared at it, the words swimming before my eyes.
I didn’t recognize the handwriting.
Didn’t recognize the street name.
But something deep inside me did.
Something deeper than memory.
---
I closed my fist around the paper, breathing hard.
What the hell was this?
A prank?
A mistake?
Another glitch in my already fragile brain?
---
Or a clue?
A message?
A way back to her?
---
I stood up so fast the chair slammed into the wall behind me.
I didn’t even notice.
All I knew was that I needed to move.
To find this place.
To find her.
Whoever she was.
Whoever I was.
---
I grabbed my jacket and headed for the elevator.
Ignoring the buzzing of my phone.
Ignoring the worried glances from my secretary.
Ignoring the world.
---
I had no plan.
No logic.
No proof.
Just a burning ache in my chest and a piece of paper clutched in my hand like a lifeline.
---
And for the first time in a long time...
I didn’t care about meetings.
Or appearances.
Or money.
All I cared about was this feeling.
This pull.
This hope.
---
Somewhere out there, something was missing.
Someone was missing.
And I was done pretending I didn’t feel it.
---
Whatever it took.
However long it took.
I was going to find her.
Even if it broke me.
Even if it ruined everything I had built.
---
Because some things are bigger than money.
Bigger than power.
Bigger than fear.
---
Love.
Real love.
The kind that doesn’t fade, even when everything else does.
The kind that survives the impossible.
The kind that remembers even when the world tries to make you forget.
---
I wasn’t ready yet.
Not fully.
I didn’t even know her face clearly.
But somewhere inside me, I already knew her heart.
Already loved her.
Already missed her.
---
And that was enough.
For now.