Chapter 29: He Belongs to Another

I should not have trailed behind him.

I had known this much earlier than the bare feet, which had slid down its chilly marble alone, the corridor empty.

There was, though, a mad, stubborn something within me, and it pulled me along even when my whole self, every fiber of being, cried no.

The palace stood tonight, a restless stillness. The storm had burned itself out, wetting the corridors with water, the whirling torches casting long shadows on walls. My own wet dripping light robe flowed around my legs as I walked, my hand tracing lightly along the stone, finding equilibrium.

I hadn't meant to get out of bed.

I hadn't meant to see him.

But something inside me something raw and painful—had to know.

I had to see him.

I wanted to know what that second between us was.

The hallway continued into the east wing — a showy part of the palace for visiting nobles. I knew because I'd been warned off of it.

I shouldn't have obeyed.

I caught them before I could see them.

Low voices. A soft, womanly laugh. The scrape of leather boots on the very shiny floor.

With my thudding heart, I crept forward, covered by thick velvet that made a curtain across the archway.

I looked around it and prepared myself.

Kael was there, towering and imposing in flowing white robes and black tights, every inch the prince that he was.

And in front of him was a woman.

She was lovely — all pale yellow tresses, blue ice eyes, and silk-clad form. She was beauty with the sharp edge of a knife — hurt enough. Her smile, rising to him, spoke it all long intimacy, long knowing.

I didn't know her… but the way she manipulated him word for word is what she said.

They say they are betrothed.

She whose name was mentioned, behind kitchen walls, behind kitchen doors, in the servants' hall.

She would stand beside him when finally he mounted the throne.

Kael's wife.

I slapped a trembling hand across my mouth, struggling not to be sick.

They were talking too low for me to hear what they said, but I didn't need to.

Not when I could see her come up onto tiptoes-

Not when I'd seen how Kael allowed his head to drop without complaint.

Not when their mouths met in a kiss that took whatever small hope I'd managed to build for myself.

It wasn't hot and poisonous like the one that'd shared itself almost with us.

It was gentle and tender.

It was what I'd wished for.

He hadn't pushed her away.

He hadn't growled at her in threat.

He kissed her like it was a habit, something to be done.

And something inside me snapped so pathetically that I withdrew, the ring of my withdrawal off the still.

Kael's face snapped up and speed without light.

His golden eyes flared across the hallway.

I stood stiff, caught like a rabbit trap.

We didn't move for one second.

Then Kael swore and started moving towards me, his hand out.

But I wheeled on my heel and ran.

I did not pause. I ran, the cold boards creaking beneath my feet, indistinct in my sight. I could hear him shout my name — harsh, imperative — but I did not relent.

I could not.

I did not catch my breath until I was secured in my bedroom, slamming the door shut and wrapping my shaking fingers around the lock.

I hit my back against the door, Lungs. I gasping for air, my heart broken and raging inside me.

The bruise he'd inflicted. On the flesh of my neck — the one that had seemed so real, so sacred — burned like fire.

How foolish I.

How absurd.

I'd known. All along he'd warned me.

Told me there would never be anything genuine between us.

I was a possession.

A bargain.

A play doll to play with, and to put aside when it is convenient.

And somehow in the process, I had succeeded in deceiving myself.

I collapsed onto the floor, knees pulled up tight into my body, trying to keep it together.

A watering in my eyes were the tears, but I was not going to let them fall.

I was not going to let him take that from me, either.

But the vision stayed in my closed-off eyelids—

Kael, to kiss me.

Kael, to go to another.

Someone perfect.

Someone plain.

Someone a prince's worth.

Not me.

I bit my lip so hard I tasted blood, trying not to let the scream come up from my throat.

I don't know how long I huddled there, shaking.

Long enough for torches to burn low.

Long enough for shadows to pool with the coming dawn.

The soft knock on the door roused me from sleep.

"Scarlett," the deep rumble of Kael's voice against wood.

"Open the door."

I did not respond. I rolled further in, hoping he would leave.

"I know you're awake," he growled, his voice full of annoyance.

Even then, I was not talking.

The door shook once, twice — and then there was silence.

"You can't see," he said finally, his voice softer. "It isn't what you think."

I'd been shown.

I'd been shown everything.

"You made the bloody obvious quite clear," I was able to croak out, forming words around the object in my throat. "You owe me nothing, remember? This is business, nothing more."

There was silence.

Then, softly enough I had trouble hearing what I did:

"It was a mistake."

One of those humourless bitter ones of mine. "Which part?" Kissing her — or bragging about it to me?"

Hush.

Good. Let him sink on that.

"You taught me not to get what's between us mixed up with love," I said, slowly rising, still keeping the doorframe as a prop. "I see now, Kael. I do."

I rested against the wood, eyes shut.

"And I won't be misled again."

His voice, when he spoke at all, was coarse, with a taste I couldn't find my tongue.

"I never meant to hurt you."

Shivers.

"You can't hurt what you don't love," I stammered.

And I turned and walked away from the door — him — whatever silly daydreams had nearly stolen my heart away back there.

Let him marry his fairy princess.

Let him live his fairy lie.

I was done being a pawn in his game.

Even if it took my life.

To be continued…